You must think I am insane wasting time with you, scribbling lines on you, but it’s time we meet and I tell you my ordeal without you adding your valuable suggestions.
It was evening, I remember, somewhere around 5, when I was lying on my bed perfectly still and idle. I saw her, sitting calm and relaxed like a cat, outside my door. Matter of fact it was a cat. A very resilient cat who did not budge when I went up to the door and opened it for her to come in. She moved in without question, overlooking my motives, if any, with measured steps. Motive, I had none for letting her enter my home. She examined the home and followed my actions from the corner of her eyes while I followed her around my home examining her actions. She had come without any baggage, except for her precious little fur coat which draped her skin and made her feel cozy in the cold winter evenings of Delhi.
The clock ticked and time flew. Outside, the temperature dropped and rose, and the sun took its leave. Planes flew overhead which got me daydreaming of the time when I will leave this city and got her nervous and thinking of the time when I will leave her and go. She looked at me inquisitively, and told me she loves me by rubbing her precious little fur coat against my skin.
Being an undergraduate student of math, I had a lot of time to devote to her. I have a lot of friends but I am no party animal. I have no girlfriend. So my time, after I came back home, was entirely devoted to her. My life was dependent on her and 20 cigarettes per day. Months went by.
It was evening again and I lay on my bed idle, smoking ganja, while she lay beside me passively. I cuddled her and held her close to me. Through my intoxicated eyes she looked stoned too. She licked my lips and I licked hers. I told her I love her. Then I lay still, confused. I thought I was too intoxicated and I wasn’t responsible for my actions. But I realised what I said was right. Next evening, after I was back from the lectures we sat together on the armchair. She cuddled upto me and I held her close and said, “I love you. I want you." She approved my decision and licked my lips. I did the same. I held her tight.
Days went by and I became more intimate with her. I shared all my secrets with her and she did the same. We lay together under the blanket, nude. I caressed her body and kissed her. You must be thinking that I am a lunatic kissing a cat. But I was expecting something unexpected. I always thought she was a beautiful woman hiding behind that precious fur. And I was waiting for her to come out. I was helping her to feel me and not to be shy of me.
Months went by and nothing changed. It seemed by now I had lost my foresight. I loved her but I doubted my anticipation increasingly.
Finally my sexual repression got to me. I lay on my bed nude with her, trying to convince her that she was not a cat. But everything fell to deaf ears. She meowed and she purred and she ignored what I said. It is not that she was doing it purposely. She had a reason. She was a cat. The fault lay in me. I lost foresight. I got up, put my clothes back on, lit a cigarette and came to you to narrate my ordeal.
I still love her but I have promised myself that I will realise what she is. I have realised what she is. I can hear the droning sound of plane overhead. It just went by and got me daydreaming. She has gone out for a walk. And I will be waiting for a flight to catch.
It was evening, I remember, somewhere around 5, when I was lying on my bed perfectly still and idle. I saw her, sitting calm and relaxed like a cat, outside my door. Matter of fact it was a cat. A very resilient cat who did not budge when I went up to the door and opened it for her to come in. She moved in without question, overlooking my motives, if any, with measured steps. Motive, I had none for letting her enter my home. She examined the home and followed my actions from the corner of her eyes while I followed her around my home examining her actions. She had come without any baggage, except for her precious little fur coat which draped her skin and made her feel cozy in the cold winter evenings of Delhi.
The clock ticked and time flew. Outside, the temperature dropped and rose, and the sun took its leave. Planes flew overhead which got me daydreaming of the time when I will leave this city and got her nervous and thinking of the time when I will leave her and go. She looked at me inquisitively, and told me she loves me by rubbing her precious little fur coat against my skin.
Being an undergraduate student of math, I had a lot of time to devote to her. I have a lot of friends but I am no party animal. I have no girlfriend. So my time, after I came back home, was entirely devoted to her. My life was dependent on her and 20 cigarettes per day. Months went by.
It was evening again and I lay on my bed idle, smoking ganja, while she lay beside me passively. I cuddled her and held her close to me. Through my intoxicated eyes she looked stoned too. She licked my lips and I licked hers. I told her I love her. Then I lay still, confused. I thought I was too intoxicated and I wasn’t responsible for my actions. But I realised what I said was right. Next evening, after I was back from the lectures we sat together on the armchair. She cuddled upto me and I held her close and said, “I love you. I want you." She approved my decision and licked my lips. I did the same. I held her tight.
Days went by and I became more intimate with her. I shared all my secrets with her and she did the same. We lay together under the blanket, nude. I caressed her body and kissed her. You must be thinking that I am a lunatic kissing a cat. But I was expecting something unexpected. I always thought she was a beautiful woman hiding behind that precious fur. And I was waiting for her to come out. I was helping her to feel me and not to be shy of me.
Months went by and nothing changed. It seemed by now I had lost my foresight. I loved her but I doubted my anticipation increasingly.
Finally my sexual repression got to me. I lay on my bed nude with her, trying to convince her that she was not a cat. But everything fell to deaf ears. She meowed and she purred and she ignored what I said. It is not that she was doing it purposely. She had a reason. She was a cat. The fault lay in me. I lost foresight. I got up, put my clothes back on, lit a cigarette and came to you to narrate my ordeal.
I still love her but I have promised myself that I will realise what she is. I have realised what she is. I can hear the droning sound of plane overhead. It just went by and got me daydreaming. She has gone out for a walk. And I will be waiting for a flight to catch.
posted by Arjun at 4:22 AM
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